Here's to a New Me

Im ready, it is time! I have to loose this weight I have been carrying for years! Over the past 7 years I have said so many times that I will loose the weight. Ive said things like I'm gonna loose the weight before I get married, before I have kids, after I have kids, before our five year anniversary, after Ella, before I get pregnant again, before I go on a vacation, and so many more! I have yet to get where I believe I need to be. I have tried many thing to loose the weight. I have done many diets, changed eating habits for a while, even did a fast. Some things worked for a while, but were never sustaining for me. Since before I was marred I wanted to loose weight, especially before the wedding. I didn't work so hard at that. I was in a size 12 and at the time I felt pretty comfortable with my self.

I didn't really gain to much weight during the first year of our marriage. Just a little before our first anniversary I found out I was pregnant and ended up having a miscarriage. That hit me kinda hard and I ended up gaining about 15lbs before getting pregnant with Annaliese a few months later. During her pregnancy I didn't gain to much weight. I believe I gained around 26lbs. I was told that it was not much at all for your first child, so I thought it would be easy to take off. Yeah right! Soon after having Annaliese I let my self go and was in a size 18, almost in a 20! 

It finally hit me that I had to do something! So I worked to looses the weight and got into a size 14, then I got pregnant. I don't remember how I lost the weight then. Don't know what it was I did different! Maybe it was the fact that I had more motivation? I was not going to get into a size 20 and I wanted to have another child so i had to loose the weight! During my pregnancy with Landon I continued to loose weight till the last three months of it. I gained 11lbs and lost all of that when Landon was born. I breast feed Landon and kept the weight off. 

Till I realized I was gaining weight again. It was coming on fast, especially around my waist. Then I knew it, I was pregnant heading in to my second trimester. During the pregnancy with Ella I was never feeling well so I was not very active. I also ate everything in site cause i craved it. During the pregnancy it was very emotional for me as well, so that did not help my eating. After having Ella I started working out soon after. I did not want to have the baby weight when I didn't have the baby. I was working out about five times a week while watching what I ate. After all I was doing I got discouraged because I did not loose any weight during that time. Not even one pound, I believe I actually gained a few pounds! My jeans were fitting a little better, but not enough for me to go down a size.

I just gave up, I quit caring and I quit trying. So for the past five months I have tried so many things to help me get that jump start. To get that motivation to loose the weight. I know I am not one of those woman that have babies and jump back into their pre-baby jeans. Or have the flat tummy that I once had and will never get back due to having kids. I have a few friends that are like this and it just discourages me so much more. Yes I know they are not me, that's them and how they are made. I just would like to be made that way! Since i am not, I will just have to work hard at it. Im sure I will have to work hard at it till the day I die, but I know it will be worth it in the long run. Not just for my self confidence, but for my health, and also to be a good example for my children.

So the big question for me is how will I loose this weight and keep it off? I am trying to watch what I eat but that even is really hard for me to do. To be honest, I don't like eating much fruit or vegetable. I don't mind salads, but not for every meal. I don't want to cut everything out cause I know that I will just go back to eating unhealthy. I do like eating healthy things, I don't want it to come across that I just eat so unhealthy. I know for me its when I eat and how much I eat. I am taking a mineral multivitamin along with probiotics. I heard that the probiatics could help with loosing weight along with a few other issues I have been having. I do have a treadmill that I will be using when the weather is just cold, hot or to wet for us to get out. I am looking for a double stroller so that I can walk to the park that is about two miles from us or to Target if I need to get a few things from the store. I have all these ideas of what I want to do, what I should be doing. I has just never gotten to the point of really applying them consistently to my life.

Well that is all going to change! I am going to start blogging about my weight loss journey, being honest, not holding back. I am so fear full of this but I believe I need that accountability! If I know their is an expectation of  me and people are watching my every move then I have to. Then I believe that I can achieve what it is I need to do. See I am a type of person that does well under pressure. So I am going to put my self under pressure! I will create an other page for this weight loss journey. I will try to post at the end of every day of what I ate and how active I was. Every Monday I will post my weight, yes my weight! I said I was ganna be honest!  Please feel free to post comments about my progress, I even encourage it! I need to know the truth even if it hurts. You can help also by giving me ideas for healthy meals or different work out methods. I will take any help I can get on this journey! So here i go, here's to a new healthy me!

(May 2nd will be my first entry on its own new page)